Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, which is a big holiday for me. My mom would say that how you start the New Year, is how you’ll end it. So I feel a little weird that my plans are all up in the air about it.

The guy I’m dating asked me to go to the beach with him tomorrow morning, and then to go see Curse of the Golden Flower. He has a dinner to go to later in the night, so we’ll spend some time together in the morning / afternoon.

There’s a luau at my aunty’s house in Nanakuli, but I don’t know if I’m going. My sister has to stay home with her dogs cause one of them gets all spastic with all the fireworks going off. Hawaii is notorious for the amount of fireworks people set-off. It’s tradition here to burn lots of fireworks right in front or back of your house, in the street, you name it. So maybe I should stay home with her since her boyfriend has to work that night. I might go to the luau though. I just wish my sister was also going so I’d have someone I felt comfortable hanging out with. I know they’re all my relatives, but I still feel awkward at times, and know I’ll get asked questions I don’t want to answer. Hee hee.

A friend of mine who I haven’t hung out with in over 5 years, invited me to go over to his house party and watch him get drunk offa red stripe. He’s a cool dude, but I don’t know if the first time I hang with him in 5 years, I want him to be drunk, and at a party with a bunch of people I don’t know.

As for the guy I’m dating, his neighbors always throw a block party which his family goes to. (I was not invited to this one.)

I was invited to another party taking place in town. Its sort a combo of a late Christmas party, and a New Year’s party. My ex and his friends, who are all really funny and super cool, asked if I’d like to go. But there’s something in me that feels strange about it.

So I don’t know what I’ll end up doing. I think I’d be OK with spending it alone. I’m feeling weird about the guy I’m dating, mainly because I have a feeling we might not be speaking at the end of 2007 (you never know). I guess I don’t want to feel too attached to him. I feel strange lately, and hope 2007 brings some clarity.

Usually everyone else I know spends all holidays with their family at a party thrown at someone’s house. That’s how it is in Hawaii, and it’s pretty cool. I probably should clean my room and car a little since the New Year is coming. Maybe I’m acting superstitious, but it’s not a bad idea to start the New Year with some optimism, and try to make sure its a good one.