Easter Sunday was good because it forced me to take a look at things and reflect. The guy I’ve been dating spent time with me in the evening after he went to evening mass. I’m not super religious, but he is and I felt good about him going since he seemed happy about it. He actually touched on the subject of us going out as girlfriend and boyfriend last week, but I told him we should talk about it when he wasn’t exhausted and half asleep. We never did come back to the conversation. I don’t know if he assumes we’re going out or not but his parents seem to think we are. I am not 100% sure what I want to do.

This weekend my family celebrated Easter Sunday by going to the lunch buffet at Makino Chaya. My mom’s birthday was on Friday, so it was a celebration of both events. My mom, sister and I try to go out on holidays. I remember being a teenager who hated spending time with the family and how much its changed for me as I got older since I realize how incomplete it would feel if we didn’t get together. I will seriously miss my family if anyone passes on or moves far away. My mom is already a senior citizen and I’m praying she’ll live beyond her eighties and retain her health. She’s doing good right now, but sometimes it hits me that she isn’t as young as she used to be, because she looks great for her age and seems 10 or 15 years younger, but then I realize her age and it surprises me. She isn’t 80 or 90 yet, but she’s in her early seventies. I would honestly feel lost without her. She is often someone I can bring my big problems to. She’s great even though we argue tons, and it might not seem like it to her, but I think she’s amazing.

My sister is a good person, but very different. Hopefully she and I will remain on good terms. She is super responsible and intelligent, and makes the right choices in life. She’s the older sister. Of course.

Our dad passed away in 1997, and I’ve always accepted it, but never quite gotten over it. I probably never will feel OK about how he died. But I accept he’s gone, and hope he’s cruising around someplace and that he’s healthy, happy and able to enjoy his existence without pain. I don’t know what i think happens in the after-life, exactly, but I like to imagine he can see how we’re doing, and I imagine him young for some reason.

Easter Sunday was somber for me because a lot of things started piling up on me. Anxieties about decisions I’ve been making in life, and the career path I chose… Realizing I don’t think I’m happy doing what I’m doing by choosing IT as a career path… all that stuff. I banged up my car on a pillar in the parking structure wednesday evening after work, and am going through insurance but feel incredibly stupid about it. My carelessness cost me the $500 deductible, and I imagine my premiums are rising now. I left work so frustrated on Wednesday… I just wasn’t paying attention when I pulled out of the stall and the front-passenger-side of the car got it. The mirror came off, and the front panel by the wheel and passenger door are both dented. The estimate is over $2K. I have debts to pay and my car’s due for a tune up, so I wish I hadn’t made this additional bill. The auto body shop is charging me $500, and insurance will pick up the rest.

I just started feeling kinda somber last night. I’m thankful for all that I have and realize I’m a lucky person to have family and friends and a job. Hopefully everyone else had a good Easter – whether you celebrate it or not.